She Comes in Dreams
by samantha-darling
Summary: *REVISED/REWRITTEN* Susan Pevensie came to him in his sleep every night, in some way, shape or form.


She came to him in his sleep every night, in some way, shape or form.

The first few nights after the Pevensies had departed Susan had approached him in his dream as clear as if she stood before his waking eyes. There were no traces of sadness or regret in her eyes like there had been when she left. Her face was as bright as the midday sky, her smile sunny. Her hair was unfurled in all its glory, glistening like obsidian but flowing like water. Her lips, the color of blushing roses, would turn up at the very sight of him, like there were no cares in the world as long as they were together. At that moment, it was if time had stopped, and they were both happy just to have laid eyes on each other.

Caspian would wake then.

Unwillingly, he would glance at the clock at his bedside, and beside that the stack of Royal Decrees and Petitions and Laws and other nonsense he had finally put aside the night before. Every morning was a reminder he did not welcome; The reminder that he was a King. No longer was he the pitiable Prince languishing his days away in the shadows of the court and the dankest places in the Castle. His dreams and thoughts were no longer his own.

Months began to fly by like birds in the meadow. Caspian was no longer aware of time. Days were filled with council meetings, mediations, and assemblies. Nights were occupied with balls, dances, and socials. Being a King had not gotten easier, but at least now he could follow the routine. He knew the protocol and the decorum expected of him. Caspian grew into the role flawlessly. He dazzled the ambassadors and their doll-like daughters as he swept into the massive ballroom. The council members had begun to grudgingly respect him as he became less naïve and more authoritative. The King could not be crossed so easily anymore.

Now Susan was not so clear. It was if a veil had fallen over his eyes. As much as he squinted, her eyes were never as bright, her hair never as captivating. She had begun to wilt it seemed. The sadness had begun to trickle in, much like water would from a leaky roof. They regarded each other hesitantly as if they knew each other but could not place the other's name. He tried to touch her once, feeling her loss like an old wound that never quite healed, and she had simply glided farther from him. The more he tried, the more he failed, until tears of frustration fell down his cheeks.

He would wake early to sit alone in his bed and ponder about the change. Perhaps it was just part of growing older. Youthful memories and fancies would fade into dull sketches of their former selves. Doctor Cornelius seemed to think so at least. The one and only time Caspian had mustered up the courage to speak with his tutor about what he had been feeling, the old man frowned and removed his glasses in a tired manner. He scratched his beard thoughtfully. Caspian waited for his response, idly playing with a single red feathered arrow that the professor had kept in his study, mounted on the wall in a place of honor.

"It is the way of things, sometimes, my King. It is the rare find that our first loves become our only loves. Queen Susan is gone now and I am afraid you must look to your future, lest you stray from your path."

Doctor Cornelius had left it at that and Caspian never bothered to ask again.

And while he had tried taking the Doctor's good advice, Susan still came.

Even when he married, and slept with his wife in his arms, feeling her growing belly at his side, She came.

She was different though not older, like he was. Somehow she still remained that 18 year old he had met all those years ago. She seemed to stare right through him, as if he had never been there in the first place. Her dress had fallen into ill repair and her hair had grown wildly. She reminded him of a trellis left to its own devices. The fog had begun to pull her away even more. Caspian no longer tried to reach for her. The last night he dreamt of her, he at last pulled himself away from her gaze and turned his back upon her. He never looked back.

Then she stopped coming all together.

Caspian's dreams were blank pages.

He couldn't decide if he was relieved or devastated.

Time passed. His wife died. He stroked her white forehead as she lay in the bed they had shared for years. She was beautiful, even in death, he thought as tears treaded down his cheeks. He thought about all they had been through and wondered to himself if he had been the best husband to her he could possibly be. So many nights had he whispered 'I Love You' in her ear while they made love, never truly believing that he did. When his son was born, he felt more endeared toward the child than she who had birthed him. Perhaps it was simply that he was used to her constant presence in his old age that made him suddenly miss her so, or the realization that she had never faulted him in all of her lonely life.

Now he was the one who was alone. He grew older by the day, stretched to the brink by his beloved son's absence. His heart felt hollow and empty. With all of his being, he wished for his son, until it was granted, and he saw through his dying eyes his own face, youthful and saddened. The picture remained in his mind as he sank deeper into the dark abyss of death. Caspian closed his eyes and abandoned the happy moment, abandoned hope.

Susan was there.

"Do you know me?" She asked in a clear voice. Her form was still marred in the black haze of his mind, but he found his heart leaping at the voice had had shamefully forgotten.

"Susan Pevensie. It's been a long time." He replied. There was no response.

"You've gotten quite old." She said lightly. He laughed.

"Did you expect me to remain young and handsome forever?" Caspian asked throatily. There was a corresponding laugh, light and airy, and he felt the weight from his chest lifting. He opened his eyes to a bright but not blinding light, filtering through a great and sunny forest. Susan was nowhere to be seen. He felt alive again and he realized that his body had returned to that of a healthy young man.

"I expect nothing less, dear Prince." Susan encircled her arms about him, from behind, her lips coming closer to his ear. "Now that your worries have been lifted, and your son is alive and well, I expect you to be young, handsome, and happy until time stops in its tracks."

"Will you stay with me now?" Caspian inquired. He brought his hands up to her own that had folded over the smooth white shirt he wore, just above his heart. They felt like warm air. "I want to know all that has happened to you since we parted."

"This isn't about me, Caspian. This is about you."

He did not move as she released him to come and stand before him. Caspian watched her carefully. Her face was as beautiful as ever. The familiar ache he had buried so long ago unearthed itself unsettlingly in the pit of his stomach. When he reached for her hand, she gave it to him, but he felt the same feeling as before.

"You're not really here." He said sadly. Susan smiled at him. She grasped his hand tighter and began to pull him through the wood. Their footfalls made no sound on the leaves and branches beneath them.

"No. I never was. You're the only one holding on."

"Are you saying that you have forgotten me in your world?" Susan did not respond. Caspian frowned. He wasn't sure why he felt so hurt. Did he not do the same in his own life? Death must be different than Life. Memories and feelings must have moved in reverse, because with each step he found himself thinking less of his poor wife and his dashing son and more about her and the overwhelming need to kiss her again, to know her as he knew his wife, and love her until it drove him mad. But Caspian could not touch her and she continued to lead him on through the forest until they reached a beautiful clearing.

"I have forgotten many things in my world, Caspian. Now is not the time nor the place to discuss such things. Didn't you hear me when I said this is about you?" She brought him up to her side and smiled at him as the meadow came into focus. Butterflies and birds of all colors and sizes danced among the flowers. A warm and gentle breeze stirred the knee high grasses and created ripples on the surface of a small pond. Beyond the meadow were gardens that went on for days it seemed. He laughed and began to step forward, pulling at Susan's hand. She remained steadfast. Caspian turned and looked at her questioningly.

"Come with me." He begged. Susan smiled sadly.

"I can go no further. This is Aslan's country, the True Narnia, and a place reserved only for Kings and Queens and those in favor with his Majesty when their journey has come to an end." She explained slowly. Caspian looked at his feet.

"I am dead then." He stated baldly.

"Yes. Your pain is over, dear Prince. This is your home now." A rustling of leaves in the forest behind them broke the quiet and peaceful silence. It pulled at her hair and her skirts. "I cannot follow you beyond the trees. I was only sent to guide you, but I hope you will think of me."

"Wait. You will come, won't you? You will return when it is time." He grabbed her shoulders only to feel them disappear. Her smile faded as well as the pleasant blush that had stained her cheeks.

"I'm not sure. It does not matter. This is not about my fate, but yours."

"What do you mean? Stay, just a moment longer, stay." He pushed her back into the forest and pulled her body close to his. Caspian's eyes shut as he rested his forehead against her own, fighting the emotion in his throat. "How can I be happy here when it is not where you are? I have lived a life without you, only to be reminded of what I have missed, and now you are to leave me once more? No, Susan, I cannot let you go. I cannot."

"You must, Caspian. We must both have faith in myself. It is as simple and as complicated as that. Can you be strong for a second time, my brave Prince?" Susan put her hands on either side of his cheeks, looking up into his face with tearful eyes. He actually felt the soft pads of her fingers as they stroked the loose locks of his hair and he sighed and closed his eyes as his own tears threatened to spill over. "I need someone to believe in me, somewhere, somehow. If you will promise to never lose your trust in me, I will promise to find my way back to this land."

He kissed her in response. It started chastely, as their first kiss had, but as he felt her lips bloom against his and the heat of his breath fan out over his face, he cradled her head in his hands and deepened their expression of love. Her body felt real beneath him as he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up and closer to him. She responded by throwing her arms around his neck. They broke apart for air and Susan tried to say something but Caspian would have none of it. He captured her mouth once more, hungry for her taste. He was unsure if he could release her.

"Caspian...Caspian, you must go."

"No. More, please. Let me stay for a little while longer."

He continued to ravish her. His mouth made a trail of its own down her jaw to the soft and supple skin of her neck which he suckled on joyfully, delighting in hearing the sounds of her moans. Caspian smiled and kissed her lips again but she firmly pushed him away. At least her blush had returned, he thought as he stood at arms' length from her, breathing heavily and remaining wholly unsatisfied.

"You cannot stay here. This forest is not your home. This is a place for those whose destiny remains undecided. You must go to the meadows. You must or else I cannot keep my promise." The wind picked up again, brisk and cold, and Caspian found himself moving not of his own will back towards the sunshine of the clearing.

"Susan!" He called to her. She smiled and raised a hand hesitantly.

"Farewell my Prince. Until we meet again..."

She was gone and he was alone in the meadow. The sun was warm on the back of his neck. He closed his eyes still feeling his skin upon hers, his mouth covering her own.

She had asked him to believe in her, to think of her. Caspian would drown himself in her memory if it meant seeing her again. After all, he thought with a deep breath as he turned around to survey the landscape, there were no responsibilities here. There was no pain, no suffering, no death. The cold wind in the forest was behind him as he ran like a child through the knee high grasses, smiling and feeling laughter begin to bubble in his throat. He didn't have to forget anymore. Susan remained in his mind as he came upon the pond, diving headfirst into the water.

From the edge of the trees, a solitary Susan watched him go and smiled, looking up into the blue sky and hoping that his love could reach across the divide to her counterpart.

* * *

A/N: I was having a bit of writer's block late last night, and since this was my least favorite Susan/Caspian story I had written, I decided to go through and revise it, which ended up in almost an entire rewrite. It helped that I have also started over Dreamsleep, which is where I got the inspiration for the mechanics of the afterlife concerning the Pevensies and Caspian. That story too is getting another rewrite after the chapters I have submitted seem to be failing to impress. However, until I truly have a good solid direction for that little one, I've decided to try and pound out a few more one shots. I'm working on a continuation for The Horn and The Road to Hell, so if it sounds interesting, leave some feedback. I hate to be one of those authors that beg shamelessly for reviews, but I like to use you, the readers, to gauge the quality of the story and whether or not I should give it another try. I do write my own enjoyment, but I love that others may share it, and thusly, I like to make the readers happy. Thank you!


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